q: i treat my co-workers politely and warmly at work. but many of them don’t like me. i don’t know why and feel distressed.

　　问：我在工作中对待同事既友好又热情，但他们中的许多人却不喜欢我。我不知道为什么并且觉得很苦恼。

　　a: have you ever thought about your own attitude at work? perhaps that is the reason why people do not like you. for many of us it is easy to look at others and blame them instead of ourselves. after all,we are human.

　　when something doesn’t go the way it is supposed to at work, “oh, so-and-so didn’t do this and that”. often times you forget your own roles that you did not perform. your attitude is looking at other’s fault first before you point the accusing finger at yourself.

　　答：你思考过你自己的工作态度吗？也许这正是人们不喜欢你的原因。对于我们许多人来说，很容易看到他人的错误并责怪他们，而不是从自身找原因。毕竟我们都是凡人。当一些本该完成的工作偏离了正常轨道时，“噢，那个谁和那个谁没有做这个和那个”。你经常会忘记你自己没有履行的职责，而更爱先挑其他人的错误，其次才轮到自己。

　　perhaps when you realize that people at work do not like you, it is time to look at your own attitude. have the wisdom and will power to know that you can make a positive change. when you improve yourself, you increase the chances of career success.

　　也许当你意识到在工作中人们不喜欢你时，你应审视自己的工作态度。凭借智慧和毅力找到你能做出的积极改变。当你完善了自我，迈向职业成功的机会就会增加。

　　the harder you try, the worse it gets

　　你越努力，情况就变得越糟

　　there are people whom the harder you try to please, the less they reciprocate in kind. in fact, they treat you worse. you think to yourself, they have a bad attitude at work. and you may be right. but what can you do with your own attitude? in this case, my advice to you is to stop trying to be nice. i am not saying start being nasty.all i am advocating is to be nonchalant.

　　对于有些人，你越想努力使他们高兴，他们越不能以友好态度回报你。事实上，他们对你的态度反而变糟了。你在心里暗想，他们的工作态度不好。你也许是正确的，但你可以就自己的态度做些什么呢？在这种情况下，我建议你不要再努力示好。我不是说你应该开始变得让人讨厌，而是主张你要表现得若无其事。

　　take a step back

　　后退一步

　　when you are able to detach yourself from it, you begin to see a clearer picture. think about your attitude at work. are you being sincere with your words and deeds?

　　当你抽身后退一步时，你就能开始将局面看得更清楚。思考一下你的工作态度。你平时的言行是否诚恳？你能充满愉悦地工作而不对他人有要求吗？自我反省并改进你的工作态度。当然，工作态度问题解决起来比较困难。虽然困难，但它并不是不可解决的。有些时候，我们最好从自我做起。